If you’re lucky, then the most common date you will you find yourself going on is the date with the “Nice Guy.” The Nice Guy, in my experience, is a double edged sword: there is no chemistry or connection but he’s so nice that you feel like a terrible person if you say no to a second date. The Nice Guys generally fit into one of three categories:
- The Nice Guy who is incredible considerate and total future-dad materials but he is also so incredibly boring. He probably decided to go to law school because he didn’t know what he wanted to do and lawyers make good money so it seemed like a good choice. He probably liked everyone he went to highschool with. He probably went to a big state school and is obsessed with his alma mater. He probably plays golf (okay maybe that’s a little mean, but like probably also true). #
- The Nice Guy who is really passionate about one thing and thinks that constitutes having a personality. He probably told you the story about how he saved a turtle from a lawnmower when he was 6 and ever since has just loved animals. But he’s not a zoologist or a marine biologist. No, he works for his dad’s company and calls himself a “business man.” But, like, he has zebra socks on so he’s clearly really an animal guy at heart.
- Then there’s the heart-wrencher. He’s smart and has a bit more to his personality. Probably embraced post-college life. Maybe he has a job that he at least moderately enjoys. He takes things slow because he actually wants to get to know you. Everything seems good but you know that, no matter how nice he is, no matter how easy it would be to keep seeing him and get married and have beautiful children, that the spark just isn’t there.
This last one sucks. Because you can almost see that future and it’s a little tempting. He’s a nice guy. He genuinely likes you, encourages your feminist rants, embraces the West Wing binges, thinks every restaurant you suggest is amazing, and buys you the cider he knows you like after a bad week at work.
But that damn spark.
You don’t get butterflies before your dates. You don’t think to send him the link to the John Mulaney clip that had you laughing like an idiot on the Metro. When you see that, finally, there might be a decent hummus source at a new restaurant downtown, you text your girlfriends to go to happy hour and try it out because, honestly, he wasn’t on your mind all day. Your weekend fills up with friends and events and you don’t want to cancel any of your plans to see him. And when you finally tell him that it’s not going to work out you feel like the meanest person in the world.
But you gotta hold out. Because if we don’t believe that there’s someone out there who is hilariously funny, knows the perfect flirt/roast ratio, makes you smile every time you see them, brings out the best side of your personality, and scares you a little bit because you like them so much, then what the heck are we even doing on these apps?