As a woman living alone in a city, safety is always top of mind when I go on a first (or even second, third, and fourth) date. It’s not a sexy topic and I think most of us would rather not think too much about it and focus on the anxious excitement that accompanies meeting up with someone you find at least mildly attractive for the first time. This is why I’m a big fan of the location share: it’s fast, it’s easy, and it gives me the peace of mind to know that if on the off chance the guy does turn out to be a serial killer and our date is the start of a Criminal Minds episode, someone knows where I am.
One of the things that I love most about online dating is that I think it gives women a sense of autonomy and power that shakes up the traditional notion of dating. It’s now not only acceptable for women to make the first move but in some cases, as with Bumble, it’s expected. I think many of us have varying opinions about requiring women to make the first move, as Bumble does, of, if you’re like me, your opinion changes week to week, depending on how you feel. But regardless of your personal feelings about using it, it sends the message, as one of the most used dating apps in millennial-heavy metropolitan areas, that women are not afraid to go after what we want and to do that in the context of dating.
And while I think this is absolutely a positive thing that women are free to make the first move, owning their autonomy in the context of choosing who to meet, and generally feeling more in control of their romantic prospects, this does mean that we need to be sure we keep the safety conversation alive and relevant. For me, that usually means sharing my location with one of my sisters or friends. I also try to make a habit of turning it off when I’m safely home, or at the very least letting that person know I got home safe so there’s no confusion about my potential kidnapping (only sort of kidding…). But whether it’s location sharing, texting the name/time/location to a friend, scribbling the details on a post-it for your roommate, or any other method – let someone know where you are. We women need to support each other and make sure we look out for each other in the craziness that is modern dating.
Stay safe loves ❤