Happy Hump Day, DC! Well, I have officially fallen prey to the nice guy who talks about his nephew on the first date and then a week later really just wants to get in your pants and suddenly doesn’t find texting at all interesting. Hey, we’ve all fallen for this at least once, right?! It’s like when you were rooting so hard for Rory and Logan in the revival (#TeamLogan) and then you find out that he’s actually just a cheating scumbag and all of your Vineyard Valentine dreams are ruined. Clearly I am not being dramatic about this at all.
But seriously, it’s really disappointing when the super-hot guy you matched with and had a stellar first date with, turns out to be shallow and suddenly will only make an effort when he wants to hook up. This is something that I would really like guys to explain (but actually, if there happens to be a guy out there that is reading this and wants to give some perspective, hit me up): you hit it off with a girl – great conversation, good chemistry, stellar first kiss, just generally compatible – and you go on a few dates where both parties are clearly interested and initiating, why then do you suddenly pump the breaks and decide to stop connecting with them and turn it purely physical? I’m not saying hookups are bad – they are great in many contexts. The true assholes, in my completely bias (and slightly butt hurt) opinion, are the ones where there is true potential for something more and then they just stomp on it without giving any kind of explanation. Now, I would like to state outright that in the world of online dating there is no rule, spoken or unspoken, that says you owe the other person any kind of explanation. We are the generation of ghosting, after all. But when there is a real, genuine connection and you decide, for whatever reason, that you don’t want to take it further, just be a mature adult and let the other person know. Because then they can stop rethinking every interaction and text message and just get on with it. So all you Tinderellas out there – own your shit and let us know. K thanks.
The true offenders, in my experience, and in this story, are the guys who are cute enough and successful enough to get great girls without having to bother with a bio. I am still kicking myself a little bit because that is my number one rule: no bio? Automatic swipe left. But I made an exception and look where it got me – frustrated and back to square one. I’ve talked to friends and others who have had similar experiences with guys without bios. It seems to show a level of confidence (read: ego) more on par with Josh Lyman than Sam Seaborn, but without the added bonus of being fictitious characters I’ve been crushing on since I was eight. So, lesson learned: maybe think twice before swiping right on a gorgeous green-eyed reporter with a little too much confidence in how good he looks in a suit. Or, alternatively, just soak in those smiles over a few beers and then leave him wishing he could have gotten more. You do you.